You Can Do Better. 2.10.09

first off, i'm a bit drunk. Just had an excellent dinner at Unicorn and then drinks at the Clift. fabulous. love the single city life.

Earlier I was showering and started thinking about life - particularly men. It's funny, after T brought up the fact that he cries about not being with her every time he showers I realized that is my only time of grief too. I can be fine all day, but there's something about the vulnerability and openness of a hot shower that reminds of the fact that he's not here. he's not in my life. he's never going to be in my life again. The only time I cry about him is when I shower. Weird.
I really do miss him though, but i know i'm better off without him (at least for now).

This brings me to the main point of this post. Whenever a girl breaks up with her man, sometimes even while they're still dating, you'll always hear their kind, loving and supportive friends eagerly expressing how "you can do better."

So why exactly is this trite phrase so eagerly thrown out there, and is it really true? How exactly can we define "better"? Well, in highschool, better often times meant that he could be richer, or more athletic, or more popular. These days it's more aimed toward the fact that for some reason we all deserve a man with a 6 figure salary (at least), a high-end car, amazing friends, good looks, decent family, and excellent connections.

But, as I've recently been hearing this from some of my closest friends, I've started to realize that this isn't what "better" means at all. No. At the end of the day, whenever someone tells you that you deserve better, what better really, truly, undeniably should mean is a man that loves you and treats you like he loves you. The best of the best, all material and superficial attributes aside, is a man that makes you know that you're the one, respects you, and gives to you and the relationship as much as you do. Someone can have all the lambos and black american express cards in the world, but if they don't treat you right, then you still deserve better.

I'd always thought he was perfect and that he was the best I could do right now - until i realized what the best truly was. It's not his family, potential inheritance, or club connections, but rather whether or not he realizes how amazing I am.

The day I find a person that thinks that I'm as amazing as I think they are, is the day that my friends can, and will, stop telling me that I can do better.